One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
