He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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