Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
