yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
