Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
