i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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