we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
