How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
