Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
