i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
