Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
