You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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