I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How does one acquire holy water?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
