You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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