who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
