You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.