Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

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(727): View more from Florida

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(727): View more from Florida

ooooooooooooo i'm drink

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.

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(510): View more from California

It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.

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(713): View more from Texas

I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

well ya only live once...

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do

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