Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.