jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
