Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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