Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I believe in your delicious
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
