im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
