I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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