So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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