I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
