I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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