still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
