Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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