whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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