if you like me you must not know who I am
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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