Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
