remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
its liver damage thursday
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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