I cockslap morals
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
