my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize