He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
