He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
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The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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