Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
