My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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