I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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