God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
