Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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