bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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