Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
