I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
