I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Michael Bay diarrhea
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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