you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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