She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
