just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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