i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize