No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize