three words: i give head
three words: not that well
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
