So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
