So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
