I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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