this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
