Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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