is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Pants are for mortals
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
