Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
