Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
