He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
