Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
