I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
