put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize