I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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