You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
