Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
